Emotional distress damages relationships and generates destructive consequences to both the family and the business.īetrayal can be so damaging in a family business that trust and confidence are never restored. On the surface these differences may sound like typical business negotiations, but when family is involved and expectations are unspoken, hurt feelings cut more deeply. This is one example among many situations that I have heard about or been part of in which differences between family members - strategic disagreements, leadership disputes, vendor arrangements, financial provisions, future business direction, buy-sell decisions - have been stunned by betrayal that caused irreparable harm and ruined relationships. Their father-daughter relationship was shattered - they no longer speak to each other. Jack was shocked and distraught by that betrayal. She took Jack back to court.ĭuring the settlement dispute, Meredith told her mother some private, sensitive financial information about Jack's business. Leslie had become unhappy with the divorce settlement. Meredith had been working in the business for five years and had gained her father's confidence.Ī decade earlier, Jack had divorced his wife, Leslie (Meredith's mother), and remarried. Jack was mentoring his 33-year-old daughter, Meredith, in the family business. Jack fires his daughter, Meredith, over a betrayal I have witnessed its crushing effects in my work with business families. When betrayal occurs among family members engaged in a family business, the loss can be unimaginable. Of all possible tragedies in life (except the death of a loved one), betrayal can wound more painfully than things physical pierce more deeply than other things emotional devastate love, trust and loyalty beyond what would seem endurable. But this cool, reasoned description of betrayal misses its intensity. In my experience, betrayal ranks as a top destroyer of otherwise successful business families.īy its technical definition, betrayal breaks or violates a presumed contract, trust, or expectation to produce moral and psychological conflict in a relationship between individuals, organizations or both. It is "a violence against confidence," an inside job. Poet William Blake (1757-1827) wrote, "It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." That's because every betrayal begins with trust. There may be no more debilitating force than betrayal when it occurs in a family business. Smart business families learn to anticipate the unthinkable by having ways to preempt situations in which betrayal and lifelong damage can occur.Disagreements over strategy, leadership, vendor arrangements, financial provisions, future business direction, and buy-sell decisions can cause irreparable harm to the business and the family.It's especially difficult when it comes between close relatives working in the same family business.
No form of betrayal is easy to handle.